From Trying Too Hard to Finding My Own Way

When I first began weaving, I started with the kinds of stitches and textures I had seen in traditional wall hangings. I completed my first piece, but something about it did not feel quite right to me. It looked as though I was trying too hard to make it look like a weaving rather than allowing it to become something of my own.

Instead of giving up, I decided to experiment. I used a wooden frame, added nails around it, and began weaving directly onto the frame. There was no real plan and certainly nothing traditional about it. I simply worked with the materials and followed the idea as it developed.

The whole time I was making it, I kept thinking about a torn pair of jeans. The deep blue yarn, the uneven openings, and the threads showing through reminded me of worn denim that had frayed naturally over time. I liked the contrast between the densely woven blue section and the exposed natural twine. It felt less arranged and more like me.

Of course, the process had its frustrations. Hammering all those nails into the frame and trying to keep them evenly spaced was a pain. The weaving ended up slightly off-center, which drove me crazy. Perhaps that is one reason I have not returned to this particular style, at least not yet.

Still, when it was finished, I felt good about it. It did not need to be perfectly centered or traditionally woven to have value. More importantly, it helped me move past the feeling that I needed to make what a weaving was supposed to look like. I had tried something different, found a small glimpse of my own creative voice, and was ready to move on to whatever came next.